No one has escaped this sweet evil that can turn bitter in no time. As a prime victim of jealousy myself, this is one honest effort to unravel the mystery of how to stop being jealous.
“Jealousy is the dragon in paradise; the hell of heaven; and the most bitter of the emotions because associated with the sweetest.”
― Alfred Richard Orage
William Shakespeare once said that jealousy is a green-eyed monster that troubles most of people; and especially those who are in a relationship. We all have experienced this emotion from both sides of the fence. Both men and women equally deal with it. The initial development of jealousy can be produced from a variety of rational emotions. It sometimes is a blend of fear and insecurity of losing a priceless possession or a person.
Many psychologists refer it directly to the lack of self-esteem in a relationship. After a while, the emotion reinforces itself and starts to captivate the normal routine of a person and turns his/her life into an absolute disaster.
Overcoming Jealousy in a Relationship
As Maya Angelou says, “Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.” When you’re in a relationship, not necessarily a romantic one, some people are involuntarily forced by their emotions to end it. But before you think of doing so, stop and think for a minute as to how this decision will impact you later on in life.
This emotion often comes as a package deal with unsavory past experiences of that person. This can come in the way of trusting anyone in your life. If you have gone through a tough experience in the past, then jealousy is very obvious for you. A little bit of fear-oriented jealousy can be justified. However, too much of it is always harmful. Trust the other person as not all the fingers appear the same. Fear of losing what you have can stops you from having it in the first place.
It is often observed that many people are actually victims of low self-esteem, self-defeating behavior, and depression as well. Well, I am not trying to underestimate anyone, but it is often observed that jealousy can lower anybody’s self-esteem. It is also important to find out the reason behind it as an abusive relationship can also lead to low self-esteem. Finding the source is key to overcoming it.
Talk It Out
Jealousy is known to rule the world if the matter is not resolved in a timely manner. Before jumping to any conclusions, remember that reality is far better than it seems. Be specific with your emotions and let him/her know all your doubts and concerns in your relationship.
Avoiding Being Jealous in a Romantic Relationship
Analyze the Situation
When you are feeling jealous, most of the reasons are only superficial―the things that you have just seen but not understood. If the partner comes late, doesn’t answer the call at times, or forgets special moments/days, then don’t simply resort to the green-eyed monster. Don’t let these incidences come between the love you share for each other.
Never forget the fact that your partner has a world of his/her own, other than you. Yes, you should be his first priority, but there are many other things left for him to do that are equally important. The best relationship is the perfect blend of two different people. Give each other enough space and enjoy some relaxed moments with different people or doing varied activities. This will give both of you a chance to analyze one another. Also, one of the important things is to not completely rely on your partner; emotionally that is. Make sure you do not worry your partner with your constant nagging. Live your life the healthy way and not as an unwanted emotional baggage over each other.
Trust and Honesty
Trust and honesty are the two cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Lack of trust can lead to extreme jealousy. Try to figure out the reason behind your emotions and after broaching it out with your partner, trust him/her. Trust over his love and mutual respect is always needed. There is no need to be a jealous if he is still in touch with his ex. Concentrate on the fact that she is the past and that is why he is with you. Along with trust, honesty is also a very important virtue. Good or bad, your feelings must be honest and true to your partner. Honesty is really important to avoid needless relationship breakups.
Those who are making an effort to overcome their emotions actually know all the solutions to this issue; it’s just that they do not trust their execution power. The best possible answer or solution is hidden in self-resolve! A sincere effort to evade the green-eyed demon is the only thing that is expected from you.