Living a Double Life

Living a Double Life

What do you mean by 'double life'? Why do people resort to such a thing? Read out the following article to know all about it!
PsycholoGenie Staff
Last Updated: Jun 3, 2018
Who says change is always for the better? Nothing can be more killing for a person to find out that someone very close to him/her is leading a double life. It involves a complete mess of emotions and respect. Double life can simply be termed as a path where a person tries to save his present relations but also access new and secret ones that are morally wrong and which can cause relationships a heavy loss. A person may lead a double life when he behaves in two different ways at regular intervals of time. He shouts in a minute and behaves as if nothing has happened the next minute. Such people are extremely restless at times and very calm the moment later. Their behavior is unpredictable, to a considerable extent, similar to those with a split personality. It is a disorder in which they themselves don't understand how weird they behave or act many a time.

The causes for the same can be:
  • Extreme emotional turmoil in childhood
  • Physical abuse
  • Living in an over-protective environment from childhood
  • To get rid of some extreme phobias
  • To run away from shame or guilt and many more to name.
Apart from this, a person may lead a double life wherein he cheats and betrays his/her partner. Such people try to walk on two roads that can never connect with each other thereby leading to dangerous destinations.

Double Life in Relationships
Here are some crucial ways to identify if your partner is leading a double life. If you notice any of these traits in your partner, or a near one, it could mean, he/she is living a double life.
  • Frequent excuses for not being on time
  • Prohibiting you from having a look at his/her cell phone
  • Unusual behavior at the workplace
  • When you have very less or no access to his/her financial data
  • When he/she cannot aptly reason out as to why a particular thing was done
  • When he/she is constantly in contact with his/her ex
  • When he/she frequently compares you with someone else
  • When he/she attends a lot of parties with 'friends'
  • Unusual irritation at times
  • Less or no involvement in family matters or related issues
By observing these things, you might be able to find out if your spouse is cheating on you. Extramarital affairs statistics say that 60% of men and 40% of women have extramarital affairs thus leading to infidelity in relationships. It's not that living with an alter ego is observed only in married men and women. Any individual living as if, with two distinct identities, is said to be living a double life.

Double Life on the Internet
Such a thing is seen a lot on the internet as well, wherein a person communicates in an abstract and virtual world. There are hardly any ways to find out if the information being provided is true or not. This can have dangerous consequences. The extremity can be suicidal attempts as well. These are some of the things people living a double life on the Internet, fake, for the wrong reasons.
  • Own name
  • Financial information
  • Age
  • Educational qualification and job details
  • Family background
  • Marital status
  • They could also be seen concealing their true identity by putting up someone else's photographs
When it comes to building relationships through social networking or when it is about relying on information posted on matrimonial sites, one must be extremely cautious as to ensure the credibility of the information displayed. Records till date, have proven that there are innumerable cases where a person is already married and yet is searching for another partner, or that the 'committed' or 'single' status is faked. People on the internet should not be trusted blindly as there are chances of someone leading a double life, deceiving you.

Consequences
The results after one finds out that his/her partner or a close family member is cheating on him/her can be grave. They can range from an angry response to the worst step in life, or from a breakup to suicide. Here are some of the consequences faced by those living a double life and those living with it.
  • Huge emotional turmoil
  • Depression
  • Loss of trust and faith
  • Revenge affairs
  • Extreme anger
  • Life long addictions
  • Crimes
  • Mental imbalance
  • Suicidal attempts
Thus, one must remember, fidelity can fetch you wonders. It is the very foundation of every relationship. Mutual trust is something that keeps you grounded in a relationship. And the belief in yourself and a true sense of your real identity, is what keeps you 'alive'. Both trust and belief in self, once lost, can seldom be retrieved. Living a double life, you will surely end up losing and messing up all your relationships that once meant a lot to you. The worst part is that you tend to lose your own respect and that of your near ones as well. Above all, one fine day, you will start hating yourself. And there's nothing worse than this.

Love is something that sets you free but with a trust that you will never misuse that freedom. Love yourself, be the 'true you', love life. Signing off!